


The Becoming

by ThePoisonLily



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Animal Transformation, Anthropomorphic, Blindness, Curses, Deaf Character, Empath, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Gen, Sharing a Body, Shrinking, Telepathy, Trapped, Witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:10:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14889956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePoisonLily/pseuds/ThePoisonLily
Summary: What happens when you get sucked from your life in this world into the world and lives of the Winchesters? You end up living through a curse that brings you in contact with AUs you've only ever read about. Can you figure out what is happening in time to stop it or will the curse consume you?This story is told from the reader's point of view. It contains situations found in multiple AUs. (I will update the list if I start adding some that I hadn't planned on.)This story takes place in a universe where the boys are living in the bunker, but haven't encountered our world (via the French Mistake). This could be thought of as a story in between the actual storyline and timeline of the show Supernatural.





	1. And So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read The Becoming! I hope that you enjoy this story! This is just a fun thought of mine! It's something that I've been working on in my free time so posting will likely be sporadic.
> 
> As always, Supernatural and it's characters do not belong to me! That honor belongs to Eric Kripke. 
> 
> (Y/N)= the name that you go by!

The last thing you had expected to find on your front porch was flowers. You were plenty used to the kids who would ding dong ditch your house so, when the doorbell had gone off this evening, you hadn’t been hopeful to find anyone or anything there.

 

_This is the best ding dong ditch ever!_ You thought to yourself as you gazed at the beautiful bouquet that sat in a clear glass vase.

 

Whoever had left the flowers had really known what you liked. Roses of all colors had filled out the bouquet and, in the center of it all, was a solitary lily in full bloom. You had never told anyone that your favorite flower was a lily. Like many women, you were a sucker for roses, but lilies had always been your all-time favorite.

 

Picking up the bouquet from where it rested on the porch, you noticed a handwritten note nestled in the flowers.

 

“ _(Y/N), I give you a single lily to signify the one who stands out in this world.”_ You read it and blushed. 

 

You checked out the front and the back of the note, but there was no signature from the giver. It was confusing to you. You had no idea who would want give you flowers. You didn’t have a boyfriend and your family and friends didn’t live in the same state as you. (The perks of having recently moved.) However, the flowers were clearly meant for you. You name was on the card as clear as day.

 

You bent your head down to bury your nose in the flowers. The scent, particularly the lily, was heavenly. It was unlike anything you had ever smelled before. In fact, the scent was almost overwhelming. Your train of thought drifted back to the note as the scent filled your lungs.

 

_Maybe I have a secret admirer._ You dizzily thought to yourself.

 

The thought made your head spin. Wait, no. The world was actually spinning in front of your eyes. Waves of dizziness crashed over you.

 

The flowers slipped from between your grasp as you staggered over towards your couch. Every step you took caused your world to jar and spin. You could feel your face grow pale as black splotches appeared at the edges of your vision. The splotches grew until they consumed your world, creating tunnel vision.

 

You caught sight of the couch directly in front of you as the world swam around you. Before you could lay yourself down on the couch, your legs gave out. Collapsed in a heap on the floor, you helplessly waited to lose consciousness. The wait was, thankfully, a short one as your vision went black and you sank into the sweet recesses of oblivion.

 

 

 

 

 

The first sound you heard was one that you had never heard outside of movies, but you recognized it right away. It was the unmistakeable sound of a gun being cocked.

 

Your eyes flew open with the rush of adrenaline in your system. Your breath hitched in a silent scream as you took in your surroundings. This was definitely not your house.

 

If the fact that you were lying in a strange room on a strange bed wasn’t jarring enough, the gun pointed at you absolutely was. Or, more accurately, the man holding the gun was.

 

His hazel eyes bored into yours over the barrel of the gun that was aimed at your chest. His free hand subconsciously moved to tuck his long brown hair behind his ear. His hulking form towered over you as you lay on the bed.

 

“Who are you?” He asked loudly.

 

In your panic, you could do nothing but stare at him, unable to process anything beyond the gun leveled in your direction.

 

Having received no answer from you, he raised his voice up a notch. “I said, who are you?”

 

Stammering, you found within yourself the ability to whisper a reply. “(Y/N).”

 

“Sam?” A man’s voice spoke from beyond the room’s doorway.

 

Your eyes flashed over to the door when the second man stepped inside. Intense green eyes flashed over to meet yours. In less than a second, he mirrored the other man and directed his own gun to point at you.

 

“What the hell?” He exclaimed.

 

Your eyes darted between the two men. You nervously licked your lips.

 

“My question exactly.” You said breathily.

 

No one said anything for a long moment. Your heart rate and breathing began to slow down. As the panic cleared, recognition settled in.

 

“I know you. Both of you.” You slowly spoke. “Jared Padalecki and Jenson Ackles, right? You play Sam and Dean Winchester.”

 

The second man cleared his throat. “What do you mean play?”

 

“I mean, that you’re actors on the show Supernatural. That’s what this is, right? How did I get on the set?” Your mind was working overtime to rationalize everything that was going on.

 

“(Y/N).” The first man cautiously took a step towards you. “This is no show. My name is Sam Winchester and this is my brother, Dean. Before we continue this conversation, my brother and I need to run some tests on you. It’s nothing big, but, before we figure out what happened, we need to make sure that you are who you say you are.”

 

“Namely, human.” You heard the other man mutter.

 

Your lips turned up in a small smile. “I’ve watched the show, Sam. If you really are Sam, that is. I know what tests you’re talking about. Before you say it, let me prove it. _Christo_! See? No black eyes. Now, bring on the silver, salt, and holy water if you really want to play this whole thing out.”

 

“If you insist.” Dean eyed you as he handed you a silver flask that you had no idea where he had pulled it from.

 

You didn’t even hesitate as you lifted it to drink the salted holy water. The taste triggered your gag reflex, but you fought against it, grimacing, to swallow it. If you started spluttering, there was no telling how they would react.

 

“Not a demon or a shapeshifter, them,” Dean took the flask back from you, “but that doesn’t explain how you showed up in here yammering about some t.v. show that you know us from.”

 

You bit your lip anxiously. “I don’t know how I got here. To be honest, I’m not even sure where _here_ is if you’re really Sam and Dean. You don’t exist where I’m from.”

 

Sam carefully lowered his gun and sat at the foot of the bed. “What’s the last thing you can remember before this?”

 

Closing your eyes, you concentrated on everything that had happened. “The last thing I remember is someone leaving flowers on my porch. I was bringing them inside to put them in a vase when I got really dizzy. I thought I was going to pass out so I went to lay down on the couch. I don’t think I made it there, though. I’m pretty sure I fainted on the floor.”

 

You opened your eyes to, once again, meet Sam’s eyes. “The next thing I know I’m waking up here with a gun pointed at me.”

 

“Sorry.” Sam said with a sheepish smile.

 

Dean tucked his gun back into the waistband of his pants. He paced between the bed and the floor with his head bent down in thought.

 

“(Y/N). It’s (Y/N), right?” He asked.

 

You nodded as you divided your attention between the two brothers.

 

“I don’t know how, but I’m willing to bet that you’ve just had your first taste of magic.” He gulped as he ceased to pace, glancing at Sam.

 

“How? Magic doesn’t exactly exist in my world. None of this does.” Your voice shook.

 

Sam shook his head and continued the thought where Dean left it off. “Well, judging by the fact that you’re here, with us, it had to be magic of some sort. I doubt that it’s the last time you’ll have magic used on or against you if what you’re saying is true. It’s probably best if you remain here until we find out what’s going on.”

 

You nodded numbly, you felt like you could barely keep up with everything that was going on. Surely, this was a dream. You would wake up any moment now.

 

Sam stood up, offering a hand to help you up. “Welcome to the bunker, I guess.”

 


	2. The (Somewhat) Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stage is almost set for the curse to take hold! Here's the chapter before the fun really starts...

You put your shaking hand into Sam’s large, warm palm. With little effort, he pulled you to stand on your unsteady legs. As soon as you were stable, Sam let go and took a step back from you.

 

“Well, I guess we found our new case.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

 

A pathetic little laugh escaped your lips. The two men shared looks of concern as you stood there softly laughing.

 

_I’m a case for the Winchesters._ You thought almost deliriously.

 

Dean’s voice snapped you out of your momentary giddiness. “That’s not the reaction most people have to this kind of thing.” He glanced at the open door, clearly uncomfortable. “Not that this hasn’t been interesting, but I’m not gonna be hanging out in my little brother’s room all day. I’m thinking that, with all this going on, I’m gonna grab a beer.”

 

Without another word, Dean hastily left the room. Sam heaved a sigh and peered down at you.

 

“He’s a good hunter, but pretty bad with these situations.” He said somewhat apologetically. “Are you alright to move?” 

 

“Oh yeah! I’m sorry. Honestly, it didn’t even register to me that I was in your room...or on your bed.” You blushed. “Oh, God, I’m sorry.”

 

Lifting your leg to take a step forward, you felt your other leg buckle under the weight. Before you could hit the ground, Sam grabbed your elbows and guided you to sit on the bed.

 

Sam sat beside you. “You know, I think it’s okay for you to be on my bed a little bit longer. At least until you can walk.”

 

You smirked at his words, but any comments you would have made were bitten off as your head swam. Gasping at the sensation, you grasp your head in your hands.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Sam put his hand on your back.

 

You nodded. “Just a little dizzy.”

 

“That doesn’t really surprise me.” He commented, “You’re breathing a bit fast.”

 

“I am?” You asked in surprise, suddenly becoming aware of your heart pounding.

 

Your breathing was verging on hyperventilating. Your body was bending in on itself, getting as near to fetal position as you could while continuing to sit up. Limbs shaking, you felt tears begin to well up in your eyes.

 

Sam slid off the bed to crouch on the ground directly in front of you. He put his hands on either side of you with his palms down on the mattress. His long hair swung out from behind his ears as he attempted to catch your gaze.

 

“Hey! Hey, hey, look at me.” Sam spoke evenly and calmly. “I know it’s a lot to take in , but you’re okay. You’re safe here. We will find out what’s going on and we’ll fix it.”

 

He reached for your hand. “May I?”

 

Taking a deep breath, you nodded slowly.

 

“Just focus on my breathing, okay?” He guided your hand to his chest. “Breathe with me.”

 

You mimicked him as he took several slow measured breaths. Continuing to follow his breathing, you slowly became aware of what was going on. You were sitting on a bed, having a panic attack, while your hand was on Sam freaking Winchester’s chest. It was a miracle that you could even breathe with that broad chest stretching out under your fingertips.

 

“Thank you. You don’t even know me and here you are calming me down.” You said quietly.

 

“Yeah. Helping people is kinda our thing.” He chuckled. “Honestly, you’re reacting the way that we all wish we could sometimes...and the way that we do on occasion.”

 

The vibrations from his speech reminded you that your hand was still on his chest. Jerking it away, you could feel yourself blushing furiously.

 

“I promise that I’m usually better than this. I’m afraid that I’m not making a very good first impression.” You ran your hand through your hair. “Just...don’t tell Dean about this, please. I already have one Winchester thinking I’m weak. If I’m gonna get through this, I can’t have you both thinking that I’m unreliable.”

 

“I don’t think that you’re...” Your glare interrupted his sentence. “You know what? I won’t tell Dean. Now, let’s see if we can get you up on your feet.”

 

You were, once again, pulled to your feet, but this time you were able to walk, albeit a little shakily.

 

Sam led you on a brief tour of the bunker. His tour began with an extra room right next to his that he told you was yours to stay in. The room lacked any personality, holding only a bed and a desk, but it would work as a place to crash until you had some idea of what was going on.

 

The tour ran through several more rooms before it ended in the kitchen where Dean was leaning against the counter while drinking his beer.

 

“And here’s the kitchen, obviously.” Sam’s voice caused Dean to notice both of you entering the room. 

 

“Hey,” he greeted the two of you with a nod of his head, “do either of you want a beer?”

 

You shook your head. Your body still felt weak. You couldn’t be sure if it was the after effects of the spell or the panic attack, but you weren’t going to risk alcohol making anything worse. 

 

You sadly replied. “As great as alcohol would be right now, I think I’d better have some water.”

 

“You heard the lady, Sammy!” Dean grinned. “Go get her some water.”

 

Sam started moving even as he griped. “My name is Sam, not Sammy. Also, you were closer so why did I have to do it?”

 

Dean winked at you. “Perks of being the older brother.”

 

You timidly smiled back. When Dean had left Sam’s room earlier, you were under the impression that he had been less than pleased with your presence in the bunker. How could he now, less than ten minutes later, be laughing and joking despite the situation?

 

Sam handed you the glass of water. In his other hand he held a beer for himself. You took a long swig of the water as you secretly yearned for something a little bit stronger. It had already been a hell of a day.

 

“This is the last beer, so it’s your turn to go to the store.” Sam told Dean.

 

Dean nodded, but only continued to drink his beer. There was only silence for a few moments. Occasionally, the sound of someone taking a drink would break it, but not enough to truly disturb it. The silence was a blanket hanging heavily over the room.

 

“I,” Dean suddenly set his empty beer bottle down with a resounding clank, “am going to go out for a bit and clear my head.”

 

Sam nodded absentmindedly. “I think I may start some research about what could be powerful enough to do something like this.”

 

“Can I go with you, Dean?” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them.

 

Dean raised an eyebrow at me. “You do realize that I’m going to a bar, right? We don’t have near enough beer here for me to deal with all this.”

 

“I know. I mean, I figured that from what I know of you from the show. I just...” You bit your lip and then let the words out in a rush. “I just want to see Baby, okay? It’s not every day that you get to see the Winchester’s actual Impala.”

 

Sam let out a good natured groan at your words. Dean, on the other hand, couldn’t have grinned any wider.

 

“That’s the spirit, sweetheart!” He threw an arm over your shoulder as he turned to make a face at Sam. “Some people here know what the good things in life are.”

 

Sam just shook his head, refusing to rise to the bait. “I’ll be in the library if you need me.”

 

Dean pulled his arm back from around your shoulders and gestured for you to follow him. He led you back through the bunker that you had only ever seen on the television screen. Even though Sam had given you a tour, it was still surreal to actually be walking in a space that was at once alien and intimately familiar.

 

“I left her right out the door so you should see her as soon as I open the it.” Dean placed his hand on the doorknob. “You ready?”

 

You grinned at him. “Is that a trick question?”

 

He chuckled, but didn’t say another word. Instead, he opened the door to reveal the Impala.

 

It was as impressive in person as it had been in the show. You stood still for a moment, taking it in for a moment, before you moved toward the doorway.

 

As you reached the doorway, you were suddenly hit by a slight headache that blossomed behind your eyes. Rubbing your eyes, you took another step forward and the pain escalated. After another step forward, you were unable to stop yourself from crying out at the sensation of blinding pain that spread out through your head.

 

You stumbled into Dean as you heard his concerned voice. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

 

“My head.” You managed to get out.

 

Dean gently took your arm and pulled you back towards the doorway. As you got closer and closer to the bunker, the headache lessened. The moment you crossed into the doorway, it disappeared completely.

 

“Wait.” You held a hand up to stop Dean from pulling you further in. “I...my headache just went away. I think that, well, let’s just say that I have a theory that I need to test out.”

 

You took a hesitant step outside of the doorway. Immediately, the headache began to form behind your eyes again. Without hesitation, you crossed back into the bunker and the pain was completely gone.

 

“What’s going on?” Dean asked insistently.

 

You gestured at the doorway. A wave of annoyance swept through you. “The moment that I step outside, I have a headache that gets worse the farther away I get from the bunker. My guess is that I’m not going anywhere until we figure out what the hell is going on here.”

 

He stood staring at you for a moment. He kept looking as though he wanted to say something, but he did nothing more than open his mouth a few times. You could tell that he wasn’t entirely sure exactly what to say to you.

 

Finally, he muttered. “We’ll fix this. We always do.”

 

You took a few more steps into the bunker that you were now trapped in. Trapped. The bunker that you had been admiring only minutes before suddenly felt stifling. Your heart was pounding hard in your chest as your breathing began to accelerate yet again. You could feel the beginnings of another panic attack starting up.

 

_No. You can’t do this in front of Dean. Pull yourself together._ You told yourself sternly.

 

“Take a deep breath there, sweetheart.” Dean reached out to close the door to the bunker. “Let’s go see if we can crash in on Sam’s library time. Maybe we can find out what’s going on.”

 

Opting to simply focus on controlling your breathing, you nodded in response to his words. Without waiting for further confirmation, Dean grabbed your wrist and propelled you behind him. You barely noticed where he led you as your heart pounded in your ears.

 

In no time at all, you were entering the library where Sam sat staring at a piece of paper that lay in front of him on the table. Upon your entrance, his eyes shot up to greet the two of you. Taking in Dean’s serious expression and your slightly panicked look, he slowly stood up.

 

“Judging by your expressions, you have news that’s just about as bad as mine.” His voice was grim.

 

“Usually it takes a bit longer for everything to go to shit.” Dean commented. “(Y/N) can’t get out of this bunker. The moment she crosses the doorway, she gets a killer headache that only gets worse the farther she gets. When she gets back in, the headache is gone. The intent is pretty clear here.”

 

Sam crossed his arms. “That’s not terribly surprising to me seeing as _this_ paper here appeared in front of me the moment I sat down. It’s some kind of prophecy, I think. Listen to this.

 

**_One from a world without magic_ **

**_Halved to be born from the hunt_ **

**_The two as the one_ **

**_Through Universe run_ **

**_To catch in petal’s dew.”_ **

 

You all stood contemplating the strange words. Each of you were staring down at the piece of paper with expressions ranging from confusion to disgust.

 

“Petal’s dew?” Dean’s derisive tone drew you out of your thoughts. “Why do these things always sound like euphemisms?”

 

You shakily laughed. “Only you would go through all this crap and still have that as your first question. Euphemisms aside, what do these words actually mean?”

 

Sam shrugged in response. “That’s what I’m trying to understand. It obviously refers to you, one from a world without magic, but that’s as far as I’m getting.”

 

You jumped as a woman’s quiet voice whispered in your ear. “Are you ready, my dear? It’s time to begin.”

 

You cried out as a stabbing pain, far more intense than the earlier headache, originated behind your belly button and swiftly spread through your body. You were vaguely aware of doubling over.

 

“(Y/N)!” You heard Sam cry out while strong hands assisted you on the way to the floor. “What wrong? What’s going on?”

 

The foreign voice asking you if you were ready rang through your head. Beyond the pain, you felt a deep sense of foreboding at that voice.

 

“It’s starting.” You gasped as your body collapsed in on itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter! Well, here we go! The next chapter officially starts the curse! There are no specific AU's for the curse's beginning, but, I promise, there's a logic to why the curse will unfold the way that it does! I can't wait to dive in to it!


	3. Like An Open Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curse is setting in...and it begins with a turn for the strange. Who knew that you would be so easy to read!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter! To be honest, I think this is the weirdest chapter that I have planned thus far, but it serves a very important purpose! I promise that it had to happen this way! I hope that you enjoy!

You wished you could say that you blacked out or had no memory of what happened next, but, unfortunately, you remained completely aware throughout the whole ordeal.

 

The pain was only the beginning. Not only did your body collapse in on itself, it continued to fold inward in ways that were unimaginable to an extremely uncomfortable degree. The world appeared to grow around you, while you folded up, unable to move a muscle. Although your screams had filled the air when the pain initially hit, within seconds, you found that you couldn’t make a noise. Your mouth was sealed shut. The unending pain blinded you from most of what was going on around you, but you could definitely hear the boys calling your name.

 

The pain was over as quickly as it had begun. You, however, remained on the floor, unable to move or speak. The boys loomed up on either side of you, seemingly tall as skyscrapers.

 

Seeing as you were on the floor, you thought nothing of their giant appearances until Dean reached down with a hand that covered almost a third of your body. He grasp you on both of your sides and lifted you into the air as it you weighed nothing. His face, now as large as a movie screen, scrunched in confusion as he gazed at you.

 

“What the hell?” He exclaimed. “(Y/N) just disappears and this book shows up in her place? Is this supposed to be some kind of clue? It doesn’t even have a title or any words that I can see. What is this? What happened?”

 

“Let me see.” Sam demanded.

 

Dean handed you over to Sam. As soon as you were solidly in his grip, Sam turned you every which way as he scrutinized your new appearance.

 

“Dean, I know you don’t pick up many of these, but this book isn’t blank. There’s clearly a title here.” Sam held you up in one hand.

 

_This is insane!_ You thought. _Why do you both think I’m a book? How are you moving me so easily? Scratch that. Why are you two so big in the first place?_

 

Dean peered at you over Sam’s shoulder. “Ha. Ha. Very funny, Sam. I think I would know if there are words or not. Maybe we should check your eyesight. There really isn’t anything written on the cover.”

 

“Yes, there is.” Sam jabbed a finger at you. “Right there. ‘Open Book’.”

 

“You can actually read it? Like, there are words on the inside and everything?” 

 

Sam’s fingers forced your body to split open. Lying there, open in his hands, you felt a deep sense of wrongness. It was as though your self, your very being, was exposed to him.

 

Sam began to read out loud. “It says, ‘Sam Winchester, this book is for your eyes alone. Once you have read it, cover to cover, (Y/N) will be returned to you, safe and sound. If you fail to accomplish this, she will be lost for all time. Her fate rests with you.”

 

“You aren’t serious? That blank page actually says that?” Dean swore under his breath as Sam nodded. “I hate magic. I don’t know exactly what magic this is, but I don’t like it.”

 

Sam remained staring at the words he had read. “I have to do this. I’ve read hundreds of books. What difference will one more make?”

 

Dean snatched you out of Sam’s hands. “What difference? Sam, we have no idea what’s going on. We don’t even know who this (Y/N) person really is.”

 

At his words, you had the sudden desire to cry out for them to help you, but you could do nothing as the brothers stared each other down. The reality of the situation had begun to setting in. You were actually a book and you had an uneasy feeling about what filled the pages. If Sam did nothing, this existence would be all you had for the rest of your life. However, if he read...you...what exactly would he find?

 

“Dean,” Sam broke the silence, “we’ve done more for people we’ve known less. Until we can figure out what’s going on here, we need to do what we can to play by the rules of whoever or whatever is doing this.”

 

“I don’t like it.” Dean repeated, but he handed me back to Sam.

 

Sam’s warm hands surrounded me again. “You don’t have to. I’ll let you know if something happens.”

 

“Great.” Dean muttered as he stalked out of the room “I’ll just go stock up on more beer now. We’re gonna need it.”

 

If you had possessed the ability to roll your eyes, you would have. Trust Dean’s answer to always be more alcohol.

 

Heaving a sigh, Sam made his way back to the chair he had occupied before Dean and you had walked in. His face had a look of intense concentration as he, once again, split your body apart and began reading.

 

The worst part about this transformation, you decided, was that your body didn’t exist as it had as a human. As a result, you could see, hear, and feel anything going on around you, no matter the direction. So, as Sam read, you had a front row seat to the reactions that ran across his giant face.

 

Sam’s eyes skimmed across the words he had read aloud earlier. In no time, he turned the page to start the first chapter. The moment that he read the words, you were forced to live through them for yourself while, simultaneously, remaining completely aware of everything going on around you.

 

The words, you quickly came to realize, detailed your memories, starting from the earliest that you could remember.

 

You recognized it immediately. It was the day before you turned three years old. Your hand was firmly tucked in your father’s as you made your way down the hallway at his work. You two were heading out to grab some balloons for your birthday party the next day. You were so excited that you practically skipped as you moved through the hallway.

 

Sam’s face, while smiling at what he was reading, was a mask of confusion.

 

“I’m reading a...memory?” He puzzled out loud. “The question is, whose is it?”

 

The desire to shiver passed over you. You knew with sudden clarity what this was. You supposed, in a way, that you had known from the moment Sam had first opened the pages to read. These were no mere memories. This was a direct look at your soul. These were the memories that encompassed you, that made you who you were.

 

Having read your first memory, Sam continued. The next memories dealt with your friends and teachers. The words must have recalled your thoughts and feelings toward them since you vividly relieved them.

 

Not only did the words recall the good, even at an early age for you, they were able to recall the bad. The next memory that slammed into you was your first experience with bullies. Waves of loneliness, hurt, and frustration rushed through you. You were forced to even remember the imaginary friends that you had made to combat the hours spent playing by yourself.

 

_Please, stop._ You whimpered to yourself.

 

It didn’t stop. The pages continued to be flipped and you were pulled into a barrage of memories. They covered every aspect of your life. Nothing was hidden from Sam as he continued to read. He saw not only your greatest accomplishments, but also your deepest secrets, fears, embarrassments, and flaws.

 

Slowly, as he delved deeper and deeper into the book, Sam’s expression changed from one of confusion to concern to concentration. His serious demeanor was belied by sadness in his eyes.

 

You didn’t know how much time had passed, several hours for sure, when Dean reappeared in the doorway. With a beer in each hand, he wordlessly walked over to hand one to his brother. Sam set you down on the table as he accepted the beverage from Dean. 

 

You were still lying open, a position that you were slowly becoming acclimated to, unable to do anything but observe the two men towering over you.

 

They both took a long moment to drink before Dean broke the silence. “So, how’s the book?”

 

“Dean, I,” Sam took a deep breath, “wish I didn’t have to do this. I’m reading about someone’s life and I have a bad feeling that I know whose it is.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean? Don’t you read about people’s lives all the time in those books you love?”

 

Sam shook his head. “Not like this. This is someone’s life, a life without monsters or magic, and I’m reading about every thought, feeling, and secret a person could have.”

 

“Without magic? Dean repeated flatly. “You think this is (Y/N)’s life.”

 

“Think about it. She disappeared right when this book appeared. She’s got to be connected to this book or maybe even she’s, somehow, some way, become this book.” Sam hesitantly said.

 

“That’s crazy, Sam.” Dean said.

 

Sam’s reply was subdued. “I know.”

 

There was silence as the brothers drank in tandem. After their drink, they both stared at you, one with remorse and the other with trepidation.

 

“Sam,” Dean’s voice was soft as he spoke, “you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We don’t even know if it will actually get (Y/N) back.”

 

“You’re right. We don’t know, but that’s why I have to do this. It doesn’t matter if I want to or not. If there’s a chance that this will work, I have to give it a try.” Sam answered.

 

His hands hoisted you back into the air, preparing to start reading again. 

 

Dean cleared his throat. “Look, you do your thing. I’m gonna hand around, just in case.”

 

“Dean...” Sam began.

 

Dean cut him off. “What if finishing that book doesn’t bring her back? I’m sticking around for whatever happens.”

 

Sam sighed and then nodded.

 

_Please, don’t read more._ You begged. _You won’t like what’s coming up._

 

He couldn’t hear you, of course, and you knew that he needed to read it if you wanted to ever be human again. It didn’t make relieving it any easier.

 

And relieve it you did. Nothing was omitted. Not the nights you had spent crying over stupid things that had felt so important at the time. Not how you fell in love with the man you would date through high school and college. It didn’t even skip over the day you lost him.

 

Screaming internally at what you knew was to come, you found yourself sitting in your college’s cafeteria surrounded by your friends, just like you had been on the actual day. You were laughing at something someone had said when you got distracted by your phone lighting up. You looked down to see that it was your boyfriend’s mother calling.

 

“ _Hello!”_ You answered it, still laughing. 

 

You weren’t laughing for long. Your laughter turned into horror. Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed the words that were spoken to you. That voice wasn’t the one you wanted to hear the most at the moment. You would never hear that voice again and the last time you ever saw him, he was lying in a casket.

 

“Oh, God.” Sam whispered, his own eyes suspiciously wet.

 

His face was pale as he read through the subsequent months of mourning and grief. He witnessed you pushing away those who meant the most to you, the ones who were trying to help.

 

Every aspect of your grief was on display to him. He saw you cry with your mouth contorted in a silent scream, gasping for air. He knew how your thoughts scattered through memories and regrets. The nights where you curled up with a pillow, missing the strong arms that used to surround you, were not even hidden from him.

 

You wished that your story could have just stopped then, but he continued to read and you continued to live through all of the grief again.

 

You were thrust back to the first time that you had been introduced to the show Supernatural. Your friend thought it would be a good distraction for you. She was worried about how you were spending your days wallowing in your grief. Little did she know how much Supernatural would end up helping you.

 

By the end of the first episode, you found yourself identifying with Sam’s own grief. As he went through the process of mourning, you remembered each step of the process that you had been through and were going through.

 

Aside from simply sharing grief, you were inspired by the characters of the show. No matter what Sam and Dean went through and what they lost, they picked themselves back up again and did what they had to do. You found yourself aspiring to emulate that. So, you did.

 

You started hanging out with friends again. You worked hard to bring your grades back up. You kept working until, one day, it didn’t seem like such work anymore. It wasn’t that you had stopped loving or missing your boyfriend. Something in you just snapped into place and you knew that you were okay.

 

The rest of the Sam’s reading revolved around your friends and your graduation. After accomplishing earning your bachelor’s degree, you found that you needed a break and a change of scenery.

 

You were near relief when Sam read about your move to a new city. It meant that this torture was close to being over.

 

Almost before you knew it, he was reading of you waking up in the bunker.

 

“It is (Y/N)’s memory! Sam nearly shouted over at Dean.

 

“Great. Could you turn your volume down a notch?” Dean grumbled. “How do you know for sure?”

 

Sam lifted up his head to look at his older brother. “I just got to the part where she woke up in the bunker. I have a feeling we will find out what happens when I’m done reading in the next few minutes.”

 

He quickly lowered his eyes to read again. His estimate turned out to be right. In a few minutes you had relived everything up to the blinding pain that had accompanied your transformation.

 

The pain didn’t fade from you as you heard Sam’s voice call out.

 

“Dean, get over here!” You were barely aware of being set down on the table. “It’s another message for me. It says, ‘Sam Winchester, congratulations on finishing the book. You have five minutes to find a place to lay down. Once your five minutes are up, you will have (Y/N) back to you. Until then, stay safe for her sake.”

 

You were jerked without warning into a small space where warmth surrounded you on every side. You couldn’t see anything or move at all, but you could still hear everything going on around you. As the pain faded from you, you focussed on the voices.

 

“Sam!” Dean cried out.

 

“I’m okay.” Sam’s voice sounded intimately close. “Just...is that what I think it is?”

 

Something heavily pressed against your side. You wanted to shy away from it, but had nowhere to go in the claustrophobic space.

 

“Yeah, Sammy. I recognize it from when I carried Benny out.” Dean’s voice was eerily calm.

 

Sam sounded much more freaked out. “Okay. I have five minutes to lay down, right? Until then, I guess this is how to transport her.”

 

You heard him gulp before continuing to speak in a low voice to himself. “It’s okay. (Y/N)’s soul is in my arm. It’s gonna be okay.”

 


	4. Sharing is Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news: Technically you were returned to Sam and Dean  
> Bad news: You weren't returned in the manner that they were expecting

Sam was beginning to calm down as he made his way down the hallway. You could tell by the way that his breathing was evening out and you knew that having something to do must have helped. It was simply deductive reasoning. After all, he had loudly announced that he would be in his room and the next thing you heard was a pair of footsteps and a much calmer sounding Sam.

 

“Just hold on (Y/N). We’re almost there.” Sam breathed.

 

“Dude,” Dean’s voice seemed softer to you than Sam’s, “do you really think she can hear you in there?”

 

Sam was quiet for a moment. The sound of footsteps ceased. Instead, the sound of springs creaks met your ear.

 

_He must be sitting on his bed._ You realized.

 

A sudden weight pressed against you like it had before in the library.

 

_A finger? A hand?_ You wondered.

 

“I don’t know if she can hear me.” Sam finally admitted as the weight that had been pushing on you disappearing. “It makes me feel better to think that she can. If she can’t then it means that she might think she’s entirely alone in a strange place with no end in sight.”

 

“Fair enough.” Dean conceded.

 

_Is the end really in sight?_ You thought bitterly.

 

You could hardly believe everything that had already happened. First, you woke up in a different world (or something) than yours. Next, you’re trapped in the bunker by a blinding pain. Then, you were transformed into a book that Sam freaking read. Finally, after having your soul read, you’re currently residing in Sam’s arm. When would you wake up from this dream?

 

“Two more minutes, (Y/N).” Sam’s voice cam from beside you, as though his arm was next to his mouth. “Two more minutes and this will all be over.”

 

You wished that you could believe what he said. However, you kept having flashbacks to the mysterious voice that had spoken to you when the transformation pain had originally hit. You stuck by what you had told the boys then: ‘it’s starting.’ You had a feeling that, whatever this was, it was only the beginning.

 

Left to your own thoughts, the silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity. You wished that something would happen to distract you from your gloomy, apprehensive mind.

 

“How much longer?” Dean’s muted voice reached you.

 

Sam was audibly tense. “About thirty seconds.”

 

A hush fell over the room while the seconds counted down. It felt as though everyone in the room was holding their breath. Even you would have been if you were able. You would have frozen, completely still, while the seconds ticked away. As it was, all you could do was attempt to freeze your thoughts as the time drew nearer. It was a futile task, but you would feel better if you weren't thinking about everything that could happen once the thirty seconds were gone. 

 

The now-familiar pain sunk it’s claws into you when you felt yourself being jerked out of the cramped space you had resided in for the past five minutes. You roughly slammed into something solid and felt a searing heat consume your entire body, welding you into the shape you had collided with.

 

Another, lower, scream of pain melded with your own. Your mind couldn’t function well enough to distinguish to whom the new voice belonged. All you knew was that your very soul was being stretched out to fill a space that was far larger than you. The thought crossed your mind that you should have been acclimated to the pain by now, but the ceaseless agony proved that thought to be naught more than wishful thinking. Your whole body was searing with pain.

 

The burn slowly began to fade as the pain receded. In it’s place, you became aware of emotions that weren’t yours pouring into you. You didn’t know how you could tell that they weren’t yours. Confusion, pain, and anger all made sense, but you intuitively knew that they didn’t belong to you.

 

Slowly, as you became more settled into your body, you grew more aware of your surroundings. To your surprise, you found yourself hunched over. Someone’s hand was on your shoulder. 

 

“Sam?” Dean’s voice asked worriedly.

 

You opened your eyes to find his anxious face right in front of you. You were sitting on a bed and he was crouched on the floor in front of you.

 

“What happened?” You asked, surprised when you heard a man’s voice instead of your own.

 

Your mouth moved on it’s own volition, completely out of your control. “What the hell?”

 

_The hell?_ Your thoughts echoed.

 

A familiar man’s voice filled your head. _(Y/N)?_

 

“Who said that?” Your voice sounded like the one that spoke in your head.

 

“Talk to me, Sammy.” Dean shook your shoulder. “What’s going on?”

 

_(Y/N), can you hear this? It’s Sam._ Sam’s voice filled your head once more.

 

You wordlessly nodded in response.

 

Dean’s voice became sharp. “Sam, answer me, dammit!”

 

On it’s own accord again, or perhaps someone else’s accord, your head shook from side to side as your mouth spoke. “Give me a moment, Dean. We’ve got a slight situation.”

 

More foreign emotions bombarded you. Frustration, guilt, nervousness, and concern made themselves as present as if they were your own emotions.

 

_Sam’s emotions?_ You were able to piece together.

 

Sam’s mental voice responded to your thoughts. _I can feel your emotions, too. Just in case you were wondering._

 

“Sam, I swear, if you don’t tell me what’s going on...” Dean threatened.

 

Sam was in control as your mouth turned up into a smirk. “What are you going to do to me?”

 

“Oh, I’ll think of something.” Dean grumbled. “Do you mind telling me what’s going on? Do you know where (Y/N) is?”

 

_Do we even know what’s going on? I mean, (Y/N), somehow you’re in my body. Just...let me handle Dean._ Sam paused for a moment before a wave of panic rushed into you. _I can’t move my right side!_

 

Instinctually, you tried to move your right arm. It flung up, colliding with Dean’s chest. Dean shot you an annoyed look and moved to crouch on your other side.

 

“Oh no! I’m so sorry!” You quickly apologized to him.

 

You could hear Sam pondering your ability to move his right side. In his mind, coupled with everything going on, the answer was clear. You both were sharing the same body. He hypothesized that, since it was the same body, it’s control was split between you two. Hesitantly, he decided to try using his left side to prove his theory.

 

Under his direction, your left hand readily flew up and, again, hit his brother in the chest.

 

“Dude!” Dean complained.

 

“Dude!” Sam mocked. “Move back or that will, most likely, continue to happen.”

 

_Let me guess,_ Sam thought wryly, _you’re the right side and I’m the left?_

 

You attempted to move your left side, but, as you had suspected, you couldn’t move a muscle. Even though you had expected to not be able to move, you still felt panic well up inside you at your lack of mobility.

 

_Yeah, I can only move one side. Together then?_ You asked. _See if we can get off the bed?_

 

Sam agreed, but, before either of you moved, he spoke to Dean. “You’re going to seriously want to move back. We’re going to try to stand up.”

 

“We?” Dean question as he stood up and moved back toward the wall.

 

_Ready?_ You asked.

 

Sam nodded. _I’ll count down. Three, two, one!_

 

The two of you pushed off of the bed at, more or less, the same time. Not accustomed to having to coordinate, you overshot your momentum. Failing to compensate for only having control of half of your body resulted in your two nearly falling flat on your face.

 

Dean was there in a heartbeat, using his arms to help steady you.

 

Sam’s embarrassment caused your face to flush.

 

“I got this!” He ripped his hand out of Dean’s grip.

 

You let your hand linger until you felt like you could be steady on your feet. Pulling up to your full height, you were surprised to find yourself looking down at Dean.

 

You flashed a smile at Dean. “Thank you for your help.”

 

Dean stood there looking confused. “Seriously, you're scaring me. I want an answer. What the hell is going on?”

 

Sam glowered at him .”Technically, we got (Y/N) back.”

 

“Technically?” Dean asked. “Where is she?”

 

You lifted up the arm that you were in control of and waved at him. Sam rolled your eyes in response. You could feel him fight back the urge to sigh at you. 

 

“She’s in here with me. She’s got control of my right side and I have the left.” Sam stared down at the hand he was in control of. You caught on to the wistfulness and despair he felt when he realized that had no idea how long this would last.

 

Dean sighed. “Nope. This is too weird for me. You’re both okay? (Y/N) is okay?”

 

You smiled. “Sam and I are fine, Dean.”

 

Dean did a double take at your words.

 

Dragging a hand down his face, he spoke again. “Shared control, right. You know what? This day has been too long and too weird. I’m gonna deal with your combined asses in the morning.”

 

“We aren’t _combined_. We are just sharing. This is still a hundred percent my body.” Sam growled.

 

Dean smirked as he turned to leave the room. “Well, I guess it’s nice to know that you actually do _share_ your body with women every now and then.”

 

You must have had a strange look on your face as you both were caught between Sam’s glare and your laughter. One side of your body was bent over in laughter while the other remained rigid with displeasure. It would have been amusing to see.

 

You had the sudden desire to find a mirror to see what you looked like. So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours that you needed to have a look to help you wrap your head around it. You could hardly imagine what you would see when you looked in the mirror.

 

_You know what I look like._ Sam thought to you.

 

_I know, but it’s different. It’s never been..._ You fell quiet for a few seconds. _Nevermind. It’s stupid._

 

“Don’t lie to me.” He said softly. “I can feel what you feel. I know that it's not stupid. I'm not sure what it is, but it isn't stupid. We need to practice moving, anyway, so we might as well try walking to a mirror.”

 

Not a word needed to be said for him to feel your agreement. In the same way, you knew that he was waiting for you to take the first step.

 

After taking a deep breath, you took a step forward with your leg. A second later, Sam continued with his step, but you had to throw out your hand for balance.

 

“Hey, take it easy there.” He grabbed your hand with the one he controlled. 

 

As ineffective as his grab was, you understood his gesture.

 

You hesitantly apologized. “I’m sorry. I’ll just try again.”

 

_Look,_ Sam gently spoke to you, _you’re a lot taller now than you are used to. I'm pretty tall compared to most people, but I know that I'm quite a bit taller than you. Combine that with the fact that my gait is bound to be different than yours and it’s no wonder that you feel off balance. Why don’t we try something?_

 

_What?_ You asked.

 

“This may sound stupid.” He muttered. “It’s just...there’s no denying that we can feel the other’s emotions and impulses and can even hear any thoughts the other forms. I think, if you allow yourself to feel when I’m going to move and imagine yourself moving with that, and if I do the same, we may find a rhythm to this.”

 

You slowly nodded. As uncomfortable as you were with being so fully in Sam's mind, it was definitely worth a try.

 

Focussing on Sam, you took another step forward. Your mind being openly and willingly melded with his as it was, you had an almost phantom sensation of moving your left leg to step forward. You could feel Sam imagining himself moving with you as you took another step forward. The movement was natural while you worked in tandem. It created sensation of participating in a three legged race, but the result was the feeling of literally becoming one person instead of merely combining your separate bodies. Despite the awkwardness, your movements were quickly settling in to Sam's natural gait. Before you knew it, the two of you had walked smoothly to the bathroom and were standing in front of the mirror.

 

Instead of seeing Sam reflected in the mirror, you saw yourself staring back at you, mimicking every move that you and Sam made. You choked back a yelp of surprise at the sight of your own face. 

 

_This makes no sense!_ Sam’s mind was running over his knowledge of anything that could have caused the situation that you two were in. The sight of you in the mirror was shocking enough to bring him back to the current problem. He was flooding your mind with tons of ideas. Your mind was was a constant stream of supernatural creatures, some you were familiar with and some you had never even heard of.

 

You, however, opted to ignore him, as best you could, as you brought your hand up to meet your reflection’s hand on the cold glass. How could any of this be happening to you? You knew that it hadn’t been more than a few hours since you had arrived here, but it already felt like a lifetime.

 

_I suppose it would feel that way after reliving everything in my life as Sam read about it._ You thought to yourself.

 

Guilt emanated from Sam as he registered your thought. His mind abandoned his thought of monsters and quickly ran through everything that he had read about you.

 

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered. “I never would have wanted to learn about you that way or to make you relive it.”

 

He was still attuned to your thoughts so it came as no surprise to him when you began to move your side of the body back to his bedroom. If you stayed in front of the mirror any longer, you were afraid that you might break down in tears. Sam understood and followed your lead without question.

 

_It had to happen. If you hadn't read about me, I would have been stuck like that for who knows how long._ You eventually told him. _I think, at this point, it’s just better for us to go to bed. I’m tired. I_ know _you’re tired._

 

Sam silently chuckled. _Wow, so eager to be in my bed. That’s twice in one day. I just can’t seem to get you off of it._

 

You could feel both annoyance and embarrassment war within you. You thought up a vague reply about him definitely being related to Dean, but made no other response. Instead, you opted to devote your attention to arriving at the room.

 

As you turned in to the room, you made a beeline for the bed. Just before you and Sam could sit down on the bed, a thought occurred to you.

 

_Are we really just going to sleep in the clothes you’ve worn all day?_ The thought formed before you could stop it.

 

“Let me get this straight. First you want to get into my bed and now you want me to undress?” Sam smirked suggestively.

 

If you could have died from embarrassment, you would have.  _No! No, not like that. Please, just forget that my brain even remotely thought anything like that._

 

_Don’t worry about it._ Sam smiled as he sat down on the bed. _I’m just trying to lighten the mood. Normally I wouldn’t wear all this to bed, but I figured that we could save ourselves some of the embarrassingly private stuff for tomorrow...if we’re still in this same situation, that is._

 

You relaxed a little as you lay down on the bed. After the events of the day, it felt almost heavenly. You could feel everything from the day catching up with you and Sam. Both of you were more than happy to sink into the recesses of sleep.

 

_Goodnight._ You thought sleepily.

 

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” Sam replied as he closed your eyes and you let sleep take hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter! I can't begin to express my appreciation for those of you who have given kudos, commented, subscribed, or bookmarked the story! 
> 
> After this stage of the curse, we begin to really dig into some of the more familiar AU's so don't give up hope on them! I promise that they are coming! This segment was inspired by a favorite movie of mine (All of Me)!


	5. My Body, Your Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curse has begun with body sharing, but what does this mean for you and Sam?

It was inevitable, having relived some of the worst moments of your life, that you would have nightmares when you slept. You couldn’t remember most of them, but one was crystal clear in your memory. You attributed the clarity to the fact that the dream didn’t start out as a nightmare. It started with arms.

 

Warm, safe arms were tightly wrapped around you. You could feel someone breathing against your back, but it wasn’t a creepy sensation. It was comforting. Their warm breath blew against your hair as their lips pressed against the back of your head. A scent that you couldn’t name, but knew intimately, reached your nose. It caused you to immediately relax. All of this added up to the same thing. You were in your boyfriend’s arms. You were home.

 

The moment that realization hit, everything changed. The arms you were wrapped in began to cool off until they were unnaturally cold. The body behind you ceased to breathe and began to stiffen. A stench of decay assaulted you. With horror, you realized that you knew what was happening.

 

Your body started to shiver uncontrollably as you wrenched yourself out of the now-unwelcome grasp. Against your wishes, and beyond your control, your eyes rose up to meet the eyes of the abomination behind you.

 

His face was gaunt, tight, and drawn. His milky, vacant eyes stared back into yours as his jaw unhinged to an abnormal degree in a silent scream. Patches of hair fell off of his head leaving behind bloody splotches. As you gazed in horror, his teeth began to rot and fall, black and bloody, out of his opened mouth.

 

“(Y/N).” His voice rasped as he reached a stiff limb toward you.

 

Tears streamed down your face while you attempted to get your uncooperating limbs to back away from him.

 

“(Y/N).” His mouth moved again, but the voice that came out wasn’t his. It was Sam’s. “Wake up, (Y/N). You’re dreaming.”

 

Confused, you mumbled. “What?”

 

“Wake up.” You felt your mouth move as Sam spoke.

 

Slowly, you were pulled out of the dream and into the waking world. You were surprised to find yourself standing, your hand on a chair to steady you.

 

_Huh?_ Your groggy mind tried to make sense of where you were.

 

_I’m so sorry. You’re okay. It was just a dream._ Sam’s thoughts cut through your sleepiness.

 

He switched to speaking out loud. “Turns out when you’re asleep I get full control of my body back. So, I took the opportunity to take care of the...embarrassing private stuff. I was gonna crawl back in bed before you woke up, but I couldn’t just leave you in that nightmare.

 

Embarrassment shot through you. _You saw that?_

 

_It’s okay._ He assured you. _I did see it, but you have no reason to be embarrassed._

 

You were mortified that Sam had seen the dream, but your lingering grief overpowered all else. The dream had served as a stark reminder of what you had gone through the day before. The memory of Sam reading your soul made you want to cry, but you tried to hold it in for his sake. It was bad enough that you were forced to share his body. He didn’t need you making him look like a crying wreck either.

 

“Hey, there’s a chair right here. Why don’t we sit down for a moment?” Sam whispered.

 

Wordlessly, you let him take the lead as you sat down.

 

You both sat in silence for a moment before Sam spoke up. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Your reply was out of your lips the second he quit talking. “What is there to talk about? You saw the dream. You already know about it.”

 

_No, I know that I’m the reason you had the dream in the first place. I saw the man, whose identity I can guess from my reading, but I’m curious about what all I was feeling from you. Besides the grief, I mean. There was something more behind that. Some separate feeling that affected you just as strongly._ He thought insistently.

 

“You’re right.” You softly relented. “There is grief, but it happened so long ago that I’ve been through this whole grieving process before. He was my first love and, because of how it ended, there’s no closure for that.”

 

Sam nodded. _Trust me, I understand. I went through something similar with Jess._

 

A dull pang of grief, eerily similar to your own, emanated from Sam when he mentioned Jess. With your emotions as combined as they were, it was nearly impossible to distinguish both of your griefs as separate.

 

You sighed. “So, that’s a part of it. The other thing, though, is a longing for what I lost. It’s not necessarily him. You know, this may seem weird...”

 

“I doubt that you can say anything that I haven’t, in some way, experienced.” He chimed in.

 

“Well, I’m not sure you’ve experienced _this_ exactly.” You gave a small chuckle, then quietly continued. “I miss arms, strong, warm arms, around me. I miss the feeling of safety that comes with being held. I miss falling asleep next to someone with their body flush against mind. It sounds strange, but I even miss that smell of home. It’s like a combination of laundry detergent, cologne, and some natural musk that all men seem to have in some way, shape, or form. I miss the late night conversations and the texting throughout the day. I miss little glances at each other during the daily activities. I miss...I just miss what he used to be to me.”

 

Sam mulled silently over what you told him before he answered. _That’s loneliness. I think I understand that better than you think._

 

“If you knew what the emotion was, why did you ask me about it?” You asked, slightly annoyed.

 

Sam’s reply rang with the same annoyance. “I asked because your loneliness is expressed differently than mine. I couldn’t recognize it.”

 

_Oh._ You replied, somewhat abashed.

 

Sam quietly laughed. “You know what? We should probably go get some breakfast. Dean’s very likely to be worried since he hasn’t seen me yet. I tend to be up before him.”

 

Silently, you agreed with him. You knew that no words needed to be spoken since you could literally feel Sam feeling your own agreement. It was the strangest sensation you had ever encountered.

 

The two of you were so in tune with each other that no words, no discussion at all, needed to happen for you to coordinate your movements. As naturally as breathing, you both stood up and walked to the kitchen. With your minds so in synch, it took no effort to fall into Sam’s long strides.

 

You let him steer you into the kitchen as you were still prone to get lost in the maze of hallways. Halfway to the kitchen, you began to smell the amazing aroma that could only be the result of someone cooking bacon.

 

_Dean’s definitely up._ Sam commented.

 

When you arrived in the kitchen, you found Dean loading his plate with eggs and bacon. He nodded in greeting.

 

“Sam.” Dean paused for a moment. “And (Y/N)?”

 

“Still in here.” You nodded.

 

Dean let out a sigh. “Great.”

 

Sam smiled wryly. “Breakfast first. Talking later. Care to share some of that food?”

 

Dean glanced up in surprise, but proceeded to load a second plate with food.

 

_I thought you were in to healthy foods._ You thought to Sam.

 

_I am,_ he replied, _but you aren’t. I’ve read about your life. I know that you love bacon. I thought you might want to eat something you enjoy, something familiar, after everything you’ve been through._

 

Gratitude swept through you at Sam’s thoughtfulness. Almost without thinking, you ducked your head and bit your lip to keep from grinning. It was a normal reaction for you, but it must have looked strange for Sam to be doing it.

 

“Did I miss something between you two?” Dean’s eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.

 

“Dean,” Sam chuckled, his amusement bleeding over into you, “we are in each other’s minds. We can hear each other’s thoughts. There’s bound a lot of things you miss.”

 

The older hunter began to look very uncomfortable. “That’s just weird, Sam...and (Y/N). Sorry, I’m not used to this.”

 

You weren’t sure who initiated the motion, but the only reply you two gave Dean was an awkward shrug of the shoulders. The next few minutes passed in silence. The only sound that could be heard was the occasional clink of silverware as everyone devoured their breakfast. 

 

Sam had been correct in assuming that you would appreciate familiar food. The bacon and eggs were perfectly prepared.

 

“Look,” Dean said as he finished his meal, “this sucks. I know that none of this is your fault, (Y/N), but this whole situation could get you both killed. Can you fight like this? Can you even leave the bunker?”

 

Sam warningly said, “Dean...”

 

“Sam,” You interrupted him, hijacking control, “it’s a reasonable question. I am putting you in danger. Even if we can’t leave the bunker, you’re in danger by being stuck with me. We don’t really know how much of my...situation applies to you. Obviously, I’ve already caused you to be cursed.”

 

Sam pushed back from the table. “There’s only one way to find out if it applies to me.”

 

“So freaking weird.” You heard Dean comment.

 

Following his train of thought, you let Sam lead you to the front door of the bunker.

 

Nervousness welled up within you as you approached the door. No part of you wished to experience the pain of going through the door again. You hadn’t forgotten how the pain radiated through your body.

 

_It’ll be okay._ Sam softly reassured you. _There’s a chance that, with me, you’ll be able to go outside without any pain. It’s a good way to test what this curse has done since this happened to us. Just remember that there’s a good chance of this working._

 

_A chance._ You echoed flatly. You knew that you had to know for sure, but you were filled with copious amounts of dread as Sam reached forward to open the door.

 

_Ready?_ He asked.

 

You shrugged. _Not really, but let’s get this over with._

 

Moving forward through the door, you stayed on high alert for any sign of the pain from earlier. You were hyper aware of every sensation that passed as you trudged past the door. Nothing happened until you were halfway across the yard. That’s when the pain hit all at once.

 

Unlike before, it wasn’t a gradual pain in any way, shape, or form. It was a sudden, skull splitting, mind numbing pain.

 

Through the haze of pain, you were aware of Sam clutching his head just as desperately as you were. In tandem, the two of you screamed while the pain made your knees buckle.

 

“Sam!” Hands were jammed under your armpits, dragging you back into the confines of the bunker.

 

The closer you got to the bunker, the less intense the pain became. The hands holding you began to guide more than support as you and Sam regained control of your limbs.

 

“Sam. Speak to me, Sam.” Dean’s worried voice reached your ears.

 

Once the two of you staggered past the door, all the pain dissipated as if it had never been there in the first place.

 

Sam grimaced at the thought of the pain you both had just experienced. “I’m fine, Dean.”

 

Dean’s face lit up with obvious relief. You, on the other hand, felt a confusing mix of anger and sadness at the whole situation.

 

_I told you that I didn’t want to feel that pain again!_ You swung out your fist in frustration.

 

Your fist solidly connected with the wall and you bit back surprise at the power behind that punch. You had never had that kind of force behind a blow. It was a reminder of who and what Sam was.

 

“(Y/N)?” Sam hesitantly addressed you.

 

You took a deep breath and tried not to let your tone get too snarky. “I’m fine. Really. Thanks for your concern. Both of you.”

 

You stared pointedly at Dean as you spoke your last words. He looked ashamed at your not-so-subtle reminder of his focus on his brother. It wasn’t lost on either of you that Dean hadn’t even asked whether you were okay or not.

 

“(Y/N)...” Dean began.

 

You held up a hand. “Save it. I understand, but I’m a little pissed about being in pain yet again. I just can’t seem to stop it lately.”

 

_I wish I could help that._ You heard Sam errantly think.

 

“I’m sorry.” Dean unknowingly echoed his brother’s sentiments.

 

_Whatever._ You thought grumpily, itching to move back into the bunker.

 

Sam knew that you had no desire to stay by the door after all the pain you had experienced beyond it. He took one step forward and then, without warning, the world around you faded to darkness.

 

The next thing you knew, you were on the floor of the library, waking up to a world that was suddenly black and white. Color blindness left you feeling disoriented even as you took in the sensation of being back in your own body. The sudden shift to your own body left you feeling a ghost sensation of Sam’s long limbs.

 

You gasped for breath, already dangerously near hyperventilating. Your heart was beating so hard that you thought it might beat out of your chest. Terror and confusion coursed through you. You rubbed your eyes as you sat up, but the world around you remained monochromatic.

 

Words, in big, bold handwriting, appeared on your right forearm. The words made no sense to you, but they were clear as day on your arm. 

 

**_Did you see that?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter! I cannot begin to say how much your comments, kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions have meant to me!
> 
> Who wants to guess which AU is appearing in the next chapter? Let's just say, this is going to be so much fun!


	6. Through Universe Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re back in your own body, but that’s just the beginning of the fun! Strange words are on your arm and the world is lacking the color it usually has. What could possibly be in store for you now?

You stared at the words adorning your arm for a moment before the reality of what just happened hit you. You were in your own body. You were seeing everything in black and white and you had words seemingly tattooed down your arm, but you were yourself again..

“Sam.” You breathed while awkwardly pushing yourself to your feet. “Gotta find Sam.”

After having spent the last day or so in Sam’s body, adjusting back to your own was strange. You felt too short with limbs that now experienced the shadow sensation of extending far past where they actually were. The movement of Sam’s long limbs was fresh in your mind. Even your balance was slightly off as you began to cautiously make your way out of the library.

It was disorienting to see the world in black and white when you were used to color. That in and of itself made you feel nearly as off balance as being in your own body again.

You heard the distinctive voices of Sam and Dean echoing down the hallway from the front of the bunker. Seeking some answer for what had just happened and what was going on, you followed their voices through the maze that constituted the bunker.

Upon arriving at the front of the bunker, you found Dean bent over Sam, who was kneeling on the floor.

Before you could say a word, Dean turned his head to look at you.

His eyes were wide as he exclaimed, “(Y/n)! You’re you again…are you alright?”

The moment Dean uttered your name, Sam lifted his head up to catch your eye. The exact second that your gazes locked, the world suddenly burst into color. It was as if you had never been colorblind in the first place.

Sam’s eyes darted from side to side as he drew in a gasping breath. “Did you see that?”

“What?” Dean’s eyes tracked over the room that you and Sam were staring at in amazement.

You nodded in reply to Sam. “You mean the world bursting in to color? Because I saw that, too.”

A burning sensation ran up your arm. Hissing in pain, you looked down to see the words on your arm glowing. As you watched them, the letters changed, some fading, some moving, and some appearing, to spell out two new words.

_**Sam Winchester**_.

Eyes wide and heart pounding, you looked over at Sam to see him clutching his arm, as well. You gulped as you saw your name spelled out on his arm in the same manner in which his name was on yours.

Dean’s head swiveled between the two of you. “What the hell just happened?”

“She said the words that were on my arm,” Sam whispered, “and now her name is there.”

You nodded. “Same here.”

Sam slowly rose to his feet. Holding out his arm, he walked towards you.

In response, you held out your arm for him to see his name. He stared at it in shock as he drew up to you.

You tilted your head back to take in his stunned impression. A momentary flash of awe hit you as you gazed at the man.

_Holy crap_. You thought to yourself. _Just a few minutes ago, I was literally inside of him, sharing that body._

Sam let a small smile grace his lips as he took in your gaze. His own gaze fell down to his name on your arm. Hesitantly, he reached toward your arm and laid his fingers on the writing there. The moment that he touched his name, strong tingling raced up and down your body. Butterflies were fluttering in your stomach and an intense, pleasurable feeling caused your eyes to close. You exhaled deeply through your nose as you rose out the sensation. With what little rationality you had left, you yanked your arm out of his grasp.

As soon as you pulled your arm away from his touch, the strange sensation ceased.

“Maybe,” you panted breathily, “we shouldn’t touch the marks.”

Sam furrowed his brow. “Why? What happened?””

“May I?” You asked as you reached towards his arm.

Sam nodded his consent. You slowly lowered shaking fingers on to his arm. This time, however, you felt no sensation other than his warm, smooth skin under your fingers. On the other hand, it was obvious that your touch affected Sam the same way that his had affected you.

His head was thrown back, with his eyes shut tight, as a labored breath broke through his lips.

Not wanting to linger your touch for too long, you withdrew your hand from his arm.

“That was…” Sam trailed off.

You nodded. “Intense, to say the least. I’m thinking that it might be wise to avoid touching each other.”

Before Sam could respond, his brother’s hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to flinch.

“Talk to me, you two.” Dean said, “What’s going on? I don’t like being out of the loop.”

Sam stared at Dean’s hand with trepidation that quickly turned into confusion. He shifted his gaze to your face and you saw his confusion turn into curiosity.

“Dean,” he spoke without taking his eyes off of you, “touch (Y/n)’s arm on the spot where my name is.”

You took a few steps back. “What?”

It was one thing for Sam to touch your arm and unknowingly elicit that pleasurable reaction from you, but it was another thing entirely to have Dean knowingly make you feel that intense pleasure. Even the thought of it felt wrong.

“Look, if I’m right, you shouldn’t feel a thing.” Sam shrugged. “If I’m wrong, though, I don’t want my brother to make me have that reaction, so he has to touch your arm.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “What exactly is supposed to happen when I touch your arm?”

You blushed and ducked your head as you recalled the sensation. “It feels…good.”

“Good?” Dean echoed, flatly.

Sam cleared his throat. “ _Really_ good.”

Understanding lit up Dean’s eyes while a slow smile spread on his face. He reached a hand forward with a slow deliberateness.

“Oh, I gotta try this. Let me make you feel good.” He winked at you.

The moment before Dean’s fingers were on you, your heart felt like it would beat out of your chest. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sam put a hand to his own chest and take a few calming breaths. As he did so, you felt your own breathing and heart rate slow down.

Before you could think anymore on what was happening with your pulse, Dean’s fingers were on you. You flinched as his warm fingers touched your skin. Immediately, it was abundantly clear that Dean’s touch didn’t illicit the feeling that Sam’s did.

You let out a shaky laugh and smirked at Dean. “It’s okay. Some men do experience performance issues every now and then.”

“Shut up.” He turned to face Sam. “I guess your little theory was right.”

“What bothers you more?” Sam grinned at his older brother. “The fact that your touch did nothing or the fact than mine actually did something?”

Dean grumbled. “It’s a tie.”

You let out a short laugh before the seriousness of the situation hit you.

“All of it should bother you.” You said, honestly. “Me being here, Sam and I…sharing a body, and now this. It’s not a good thing that Sam’s name is on my arm and vice versa. It reminds me of something I read once…if it’s true then it’s not good news.”

The brothers exchanged worried looks as you drew your arm up to your chest.

“Where did you read something like this?” Dean’s face was incredulous.

You blushed again as you thought about how the brothers might react. “I…I read it in fanfiction.”

Sam burst out laughing as Dean exclaimed, “Come in, (Y/n)! You really read that crap?”

“That’s beside the point.” Sam stepped in between you and Dean, forcing you to look up at him. “What do you mean by ‘it’s not good news’?”

You sighed as you explained, “Look, the color thing, the words that we both said, the names on the arm, the thing with us touching our names on the other’s arm…even our heartbeats being synched, because don’t think I haven’t noticed that…it all reminds me of a specific AU in fanfiction.”

Sam furrowed his brow and he listened to your explanation. “AU?”

“Alternate universe.” You answered.

“Universe?” Sam’s voice was soft as he spoke. “The two as the one through universe run…so this means that we are experiencing AU’s? So, what is this particular one?”

You couldn’t look at either brother as you answered. “This is the soulmate AU, if I’m not mistaken. The names on each other’s arm represents the part of our soul that is in the other person. That’s why we get such…violent reactions when we touch our own names on the other person. Depending on the AU, soulmates see color when they first meet or they say the phrase on each other’s arms and that’s how they find each other. Or they have the other person’s name on their arm. I’ve even read an AU where their heartbeats are synched…”

“So, basically, we’re soulmates?” Sam asked, putting his hand under your chin to lift up your eyes to meet his.

“No, this isn’t right.” You shook your head. “We aren’t supposed to be soulmates. Whatever or whoever has been using magic to toy with us caused this. This means that we likely each have a part of the other’s soul inside of us.”

Dean’s voice cut through the air, making you and Sam turn towards him. “Are you kidding me? Sam, why can your soul never just stay put?”

“He’s never going to let go of the time I was soulless.” Sam rolled his eyes.

You shrugged. “I don’t blame him. Although, neither of you can really talk when it comes to displaced souls. You two have been to hell, died multiple times, been soulless, and even ferried souls from purgatory. This is just another instance to add to the list.”

“Just another thing.” You heard Sam mutter as he looked at the writing on his arm. “How do we know for sure that your soulmate theory is correct or that our souls are even split?”

“The writing, the colors, and the touching thing weren’t enough for you?” You questioned with a smile, “The heartbeat thing is a theory that we can prove easily enough, but I don’t know how else to get you solid information on the soul thing.”

A dark chuckle emanated from Dean. “Oh, I know a way to prove it, but neither of you will like it much.”

“How?” Sam asked.

“I hate myself for even suggesting this,” Dean glowered, “but, Sam, all you need to do is step outside.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who guessed that soulmate was the first official AU? I’m really excited to be getting to this portion of the story.
> 
> I’m so sorry that it’s taken me so long to post this chapter! My job has kept me incredibly busy lately. I wish I could say that I’ll be better with my posting schedule, but I probably won’t be. Thanks for everyone who reads my work and has stuck with me so far!


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